Factus blindus: (See Monty Python)


A condition prevalent in planning departments and other council legal areas - where the victim is prone to confuse information.  Typically, a person suffering from this institutional ailment, when asked to say the colour of a white board you have given him, will reverse his answer to tell you it is black*.  ESP. A fact that does not sit well with a story his department are relaying to a Judge or Committee member. 


The condition has been known to infect entire floors, spreading from one department to another in Council buildings, and in rare instances, travel down telephone lines to other Council offices.


Psychologists are confused about this disease.  They are convinced it is age and stress related, since senior officers in positions of authority are more prone to bouts of confusion.  The experts predicted tests would shown the word white would come out as "etihw."  However, the human brain once again confounds the experts, by interchanging key words, such that a meaning is reversed.  It had even been known to affect the ability of the afflicted to date photographs


Experts believe there is a link to the type of copy paper used by Council's and Solicitors, such as proposed in the study of amnesia convenientus. Other experts say that is bollocks and hint at a more sinister probability, such as lying ones head off.


The cure is a long spell at Her Majesty's Pleasure, as Lord Archer found comforting.  

A long term study involves two patients presently working at Wealden District Council where their identities are protected.  Yes, Victorio Scarpa and Geoff Johnson - oops, are still suffering, but we hope will be helping police with their enquiries, when normality resumes.







Snow Blindness - Medical Condition

Snow blindness is a painful condition, typically a keratitis, caused by exposure of unprotected eyes to sunlight reflected from snow. This is especially a problem at high altitude and polar regions.  The problem is also related to the condition arc eye sometimes experienced by welders.


Snow blindness does not usually cause permanent vision loss. Resting the eyes in a dark room for several days will cause the pain and symptoms to disappear.


The Inuit carved goggles from caribou antler to help prevent snow blindness. The goggles were curved to fit the users face and had a large groove cut in the back to allow for the nose. A long thin slit was cut through the goggles to allow in a small amount of light. The goggles were held to the head by a cord made of caribou sinew.


A usually temporary loss of vision and inflammation of the conjunctiva and cornea, caused by exposure of the eyes to bright sunlight and ultraviolet rays reflected from snow or ice.


Ultraviolet irradiation produces a superficial and painful keratitis. Commonly, this is caused by exposure to an electric welding arc or to light reflected from snow, sea or sand. Usually, the injury resolves spontaneously within 36 hours.


The onset of symptoms occurs 6-8 hrs after exposure. The characteristic features are:

  • intense bilateral lacrimation

  • blepharospasm

  • photophobia

Fluorescein staining of the eye reveals many punctate erosions of the cornea which resolve in hours.  Treatment consists of mydriatics, padding of the eye, analgesia and reassurance.




When trekking or mountaineering, sunglasses that offer the following are frequently recommended:

  • 99-100% UV absorption

  • Polycarbonate or CR-39 lens (lighter, more comfortable than glass)

  • 5-10% visible light transmittance

  • Large lenses that fit close to the face

  • Wraparound or side-shielded to prevent incidental light exposure

  • Don't work for Council's





We'd like a picture of Geoof Johnson for our pages.  Then if any member of the public comes across him, he or she will know what they're in for.  


We would also like a clear picture David Phillips and Victorio Scarpa.


We will pay 200 for any clear picture, if it is published.  We believe this to be in the public interest.  No readers wives thankyou!